camelcup.com: News

Pearcer Bags First Camel

by Matt Giardina

Consistently near the top of the leaderboard in many Camel Cups over the years, Brett Pearce had yet to break through with a victory. Much like that elusive sub-80 round, he has come close but fallen short on several occasions. On a gorgeous day at Chambers Bay, a huge start to the back nine and a narrow victory in a chip-off over Ross earned him his first title.

Not to take anything away from Brett's victory, but he had a little help on Saturday. He put his complete trust in the local knowledge of forecaddie "Wilson" who helped guide him to the win with some timely advice, particularly around the complex greens.

Not surprisingly, Chris Hill nabbed another long drive title with his bomb on hole 5. There were two KPs, with Parker winning on hole 9 and Kelly taking honors on hole 15.

The next scheduled Camel is the first weekend of May in Arizona but the numbers might not be enough to reach quorum. If that happens, then Pearcer will be able to defend his title at the next Camel in late July in Portland.

Congratulations to Brett on the victory.

Season Preview - 2012

by Matt Giardina

Since nobody asked for them, I'll go ahead and provide my predictions for the season anyway. In previous years, I was probably about 25% right so don't expect much better, but here you go...

Camel Cup #1 - Chambers Bay in Tacoma, WA
The first Camel of the season is probably the hardest to predict because everyone is coming off a long offseason. So the best bet is to go with a player who has put in the winter work or a loose player who just lets it fly and maybe it all works out. I'm going with the latter for the winner.

Projected Winner: Steve Kelly (he thinks you're gay)
Darkhorse: Aran Parker (the lower handicap won't help but he has Camel consistency)

Camel Cup #2 - We-Ko-Pa in Scottsdale, AZ
When it comes to the Arizona tourneys, the general rule is that you do not bet against Parker and Middlemiss as they have a monopoly on desert titles. However, another player who possesses the local experience and cold-blooded consistency is my pick for the winner. Coxy also has demonstrated an awareness of his nightly drinking intake so he doesn't hamper himself the next day.

Projected Winner: Dave Cox (familiar surroundings and steady play)
Darkhorse: Ben Middlemiss (two-time defending desert champion, including one at this very course)

Resi's Cup - Newcastle in Seattle, WA
Early years marked a stretch of dominance by the International team that flummoxed US Captain Kelly, but he has definitely turned the tide of this competition in his favor with three wins in a row and six wins in the last eight tournaments. Hard to pick against that run of form but I have a hunch the aliens put together a strong team and take one back.

Projected Winner: Internationals

Camel Cup #3 - The Reserve (North Course) in Portland, OR
Of the core group of longtime Camel contenders, just one remains who hasn't hoisted the cup. Much like Winston the Beagle, Pearcer is always sniffing around the top of the leaderboard at Camels but yet to cash in. I think he'll be in mid-season form and will still be glowing with an ear-to-ear grin from the previous night's entertainment. I don't want to give Coxy too much credit in this preview but last time he played this course he destroyed it en route to his second Camel win. Gotta favor him to put in a good showing.

Projected Winner: Brett Pearce (dolphin 2)
Darkhorse: Dave Cox (ace-eagle back-to-back in 09 instills confidence)

Camel Cup #4 - Course TBD in Seattle, WA
Without knowing which course and who will be involved, this is a stab in the dark. Someday the mad beer scientist might unchain himself from his keg and make a run at a Camel, but I can't count on that. There is another who has not seen his name atop the standings in an incredible seven years. Chris dominated the Camel competition from the start but his low handicap always hampered his chances with opponents shooting 5-8 strokes better than their numbers. The wait is over as Hill will calmly sink a 4-footer on 18 and then start Tebowing (forgetting that He has been traded to the Jets).

Projected Winner: Chris Hill (beyond due for a win)
Darkhorse: Matt Muller (just enough time back from the new dad haze but not enough to pull off the win)

My apologies to anyone who wasn't named above, but it's all a bunch of crap anyway. I didn't name myself in contention either, for what it's worth.

2012 Season Schedule Announced

by Matt Giardina

Thanks to everyone who attended the 2012 Season Planning meeting in February. After earlier discussions of limiting the schedule to just a few events to drive up participation, the flowing beer enticed the group to put no less than five events on the calendar. It's a good slate, see details below.

Camel Cup #1 - April 14 @ Chambers Bay (Tacoma)

Camel Cup #2 - May 4 @ We-Ko-Pa - Cholla (Scottsdale)

Resi's Cup - June 16 @ Newcastle - Coal Creek (Seattle)

Camel Cup #3 - July 28 @ The Reserve - North Course (Portland)

Camel Cup #4 - August 11 @ Course TBD (Seattle)

Country Club Membership Pays Off for Muller

by Matt Giardina

When he shared the news that he had joined the local country club next to his new house, Muller probably had visions of frequent rounds and an eventual payoff with a Camel Cup win. It came sooner than maybe he even expected as he took advantage of a fairly poor scoring day for the field (despite a good turnout of eight members) to take home his first Camel victory with 34 points at Trophy Lake.

Back in 2007, Steve Kelly won his first Camel at this same venue, but it was his 2011 Bachelor party triumph that had him defending the title. Nursing a two-day old broken middle finger (think up your own cause for how he did that), the US captain shed his splint and jacked up his dosage of pain killers and beer to try to mask the discomfort. It nearly worked as he finished just four points off the pace.

Others who challenged for the crown included BJ and Pearcer, but in the end it was Muller's turn to pop his Camel cherry and his efforts will allow him to hold on to the trophy for the entire offseason before attempting to defend probably sometime in May or June.

This Camel tournament wraps up the 2011 season, one which saw the fewest official events in many years. A random date for late-February will be put on the calendar for 2012 planning so hopefully early organizing will make for a more complete schedule next year.

Congrats to the 2011 winners:

Camel #1 (We-Ko-Pa - Cholla) - Steve Kelly
Resi's Cup (Newcastle - China Creek) - United States
Camel #2 (Trophy Lake) - Matt Muller

Whistler Camel Cancelled

by Matt Giardina

Due to a number of late dropouts, the Whistler trip went from Camel to simply a boy's trip. League rules dictate that six is required for a formal competition and at last count only four members were making the trip. It seems the elusive "Canadian Camel" continues to be a pipe dream as we're 0 for 2 on trying to pull it off.

This means newlywed Steve Kelly retains the trophy and will likely be able to defend his title in August when a local Camel event will be held in Seattle.

Despite Lopsided Pairings on Both Sides, US Retains Cup

by Matt Giardina

There was a moment on Saturday when the overall standings stood at 6.5 for the US and 5.5 for the Internationals. With both teams' #1 groups coming up 18, the tension was thick. Turns out it was yet another group with not much drama to speak of as the US put the win away taking the last group 2.5 to .5. It was the last of five blowouts by the winning groups (3 by the US, 2 by the Internationals) which included three sweeps.

Group 1 (matching the second pairing) demonstrated an incredible pace as they managed to get three full holes ahead of Group 2 by the back 9. Foley and Pearce who appeared the underdog on paper held it close to the 9th before an untimely three-putt gave the US the first point of the match. The Aussies battled on the back 9 with the standard International "Ham and Egg" strategy but in the end they fell short and conceded all three points to Soules and long drive champion Marv.

Group 2 was a battle of well-dressed country club anchors (Muller and Lund) pulling hot and cold teammates (Ben and MattG) along for the ride. After halving the front, Muller took over on the back with a steady swing and green-seeking iron game. Despite showing up for a couple of holes to try to pull them back in the match, MattG's attempts fell short when his par putt on 17 was wide right allowing Ben to be the hero with a great two-putt to clinch the match.

Group 3 was a fairly one-sided matchup, but Tyler and Hugh put up a good fight on the back and nearly missed on a chance to halve the back 9 but two missed putts meant another sweep of the points for the US.

Group 4, from what I understand, was dominated by Ross and Smithy as they pulled out the lone sweep of the day for the Internationals which at the time pulled the competition within one point with one group to play.

Group 5 decided the match as perennial #1 anchor Chris Hill, paired with Rocky, won the front 9 and halved the back to close out the event in the US's favor. Quote of the day was from the drink cart girl who when asked by Ben who had the biggest on-course bar tab took one quick look at the tally and said definitively, "Hill!"

The win is the third straight for the Americans and gives them their first lead ever in the series. Captain Kelly also gets the honor of holding both major trophies as he readies himself for domestication in early July. Next up is the Whistler Camel which will sadly mark the third straight time the Camel champion will be unable to defend his title. Good luck to those making the trek up north.

Bachelor Snags Camel in the Desert

by Matt Giardina

After all, it's his bachelor party, so why shouldn't Steve win the Camel? In what was surely a sluggish group of golfers Friday, Steve played two shorts over his handicap but it was enough to take home the trophy for the second time in his career. Chris and Tyler finished two back at 32 points while Muller and Pearce played well below their abilities with 18 and 23 respectively.

A more complete recap might be coming from someone in attendance, but until then congrats to Steve who now gets to shift his focus to picking out reception dinner entrees and wedding favors. Have fun with that!

American Win Evens Series

by Matt Giardina

For the first time in the history of the Resi's Cup, the lineup was individual, head-to-head match play. It made for an interesting competition as no players could take a hole off like you can in scramble or best ball format.

Coming in, it looked like a pretty even matchup, but some notable usuals didn't compete this year including Tyler, Well-Dressed Lund, Coxy and Hoggy. In the end, the Americans won comfortably with a 17-10 tally.

In a match where nobody appeared to want to win, Ben and Matt went back and forth all day. They halved zero holes (amazing) and each won 9 to halve the match. A microcosm of this match that lacked a killer instinct on both sides, the two came to hole 12, a 165-yard par 3 with trouble short and right. Matt sliced his tee shot out of bounds, Ben did the same. Matt sliced his next tee shot out of bounds, Ben did the same. And again. Finally on their fourth attempts, Matt put his on the green and sunk a 15-footer for an 8 to win the hole as Ben was short and posted an 11.

The win for the Americans knots the all-time series at 5-5. And that trophy is running out of plaque space...

MattG De-Flowered in Portland

by Matt Giardina

The Camel trophy has graced the mantle of many households in the Pacific Northwest, including multiple stays with several members.

Chris started out with a stranglehold on the trophy winning two straight golf tourneys and the only non-golf Camel event. From 05 to 07, the Aussies took hold with Hoggy, Foles and Parker winning in succession. Late in 07 saw it go back to American hands as perennial Resi's captain Kelly won at Trophy Lake.

An offseason of no work primed Coxy to take home the first Camel of 08 and the year ended with the first Canadian winner as Tyler destroyed Langdon Farms in Portland to win comfortably. Two of the next four Camels went to Ben as he shot exactly his handicap to bring the trophy back from Arizona both times. Even "Well-Dressed" won the Camel in just his second time entering the event when he made Trophy Lake look like a muni course in 09.

So that left three Camel regulars without silverware: Brett, Muller and MattG. Muller couldn't attend the Portland Camel so that meant there was a 1-in-3 chance that Brett or MattG would break through with their first win.

MattG's lofty handicap certainly gave him an advantage, though we know why the handicap is high. Guys with 18+ handicaps are there for a reason...they either can't put a full round together or there is a gap of 20 strokes between their best and worst rounds.

Although he didn't set any course records on Saturday, MattG played well enough, shooting one better than his handicap, to take home the trophy by five points over Andy. At the turn, it appeared to be a two-horse race between Andy and Matt as Brett was off his game, Steve was having trouble with consistency and Coxy and Foley struggled on the front. Heading to the 10th tee, it was Matt with 20 points, Andy with 18.

Typically this is when Matt starts thinking too much and shits the bed and it appeared that would be the case again as he started triple-bogey, quadruple-bogey, registering zero points on 10 and 11. Andy didn't take much advantage with back to back double-bogeys scoring just enough to pull even for first place. MattG would never score worse than a net-par the rest of the way en route to what ended an easy victory but certainly didn't seem that way with 2-3 holes to play.

"I think the two biggest shots I hit were the downhill par putt on 13 (the greens were incredibly fast) and the blind 6-iron on 14 that ended up about 8-10 feet from the hole," a relieved MattG said. "Those seemed to get me going again."

Here are the final standings from the event:

1) MattG - 37pts
2) Andy - 32pts
3) Brett - 26pts
4) Coxy - 25pts
5) Kelly - 24pts
6) Foley - 18pts

Drunken Bet Realized

by Matt Giardina

How many times have you found yourself in a bar, throwing back some drinks and discussing past feats of athletic glory only to have it turn into a bet? "I was the fastest guy on my footy team" "I ran a 4.6 in high school" The list goes on and on. So when some of the crew gathered in mid-April to commemorate my departure from Seattle and the chatter turned to a head-to-head matchup of speed between Kelly and Parker, it was hard to imagine it would really happen.

It took just over two weeks, and the main event was bolstered by a solid undercard of three other races. The matchups were as follows (with my initial take on who would win):

Tim vs. Coxy - I wasn't sure about Coxy's speed having never seen him exert much energy before. The only athletic endeavor I've seen him participate in is golf. With a swing that effortless, surely he must not be that fast. I have played soccer with Tim and he is fairly quick, so I gave the slide edge to Tim.
Pearcer vs. Hill - Again, not quite sure how fast Pearcer was, having only seen him on the golf course and worked out with him a number of times. I had seen Hill on the flag football field and knew he had some speed to burn. So I went with another American in Hill.
Foley vs. Bennie - This was a toss-up. Both are notoriously slow. Ben, from what I've heard, with his over-pronounced chariots of fire running stride and Jon with his "in no hurry" demeanor. I went with Ben mainly cause I thought he'd want it more.
Main event: Kelly vs. Parker - I was dead certain that this would be Parker. I've never seen Kelly run and despite his athletic ability, I didn't think he had the burners to take out Parker. Having played soccer with Parker, I knew he was quick to get to my sloppy through balls (that sounds dirty) so I figured he'd handle Kelly easily.

Results can be seen below. Hey, I got three out of four right. Oh and I owe Hill 10 bucks.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZigBlOfCGyA

(note: Tip of the cap to Robbings for filming. I heard tale of a second camera but have not been able to track down that footage.)

2010 Season Schedule Announced

by Matt Giardina

A great turnout for the 2010 planning session at Hale's on Thursday, February 11 yielded a five-tournament slate for the Camel season. In contrast to most years, the event dates came together with relative ease. Some highlights:

Two Resi's with mandatory formats:
#1 - two-man scramble match play
#2 - head-to-head match play
Three Camel Cups with two being out of town
The Internationals need to recruit more hacks to balance out with their bottom-heavy American counterparts

Here's to another great Camel season. I'll try to do my prediction story at some point in the next month or so. Even though it's typically way off.

2010 Events:

Camel Cup #1: May 15 in Scottsdale
Resi's Cup #1: June 12 at Echo Falls
Camel Cup #2: July 17 in Portland (course tbd)
Camel Cup #3: August 7 in Seattle (course tbd)
Resi's Cup #2: October 16 in Seattle (course tbd)

Coxy Aces Portland Test

by Matt Giardina

It isn't in the Camel rule book, but it should be. There is no rule that awards extra points for getting a hole-in-one, but maybe that's because we never considered the possibility of someone acing a hole.

That all changed in Portland in late August as Dave Cox stepped to the 5th tee, 5-iron in hand. and rolled in the first hole-in-one in Camel Cup history. He wasn't getting any strokes on the hole, so it came out to a four-point shot. Oddly enough, Coxy was getting a stroke on the next hole, a par-5 that he played perfectly, sinking a 5-foot eagle putt for a net double-eagle and five points.

Not only is this back-to-back hole run something that will never be repeated, but it points out the need for a rule change. How does a net double-eagle earn more points than a hole-in-freakin'-one? That's to be discussed at a later date, but the 9 points on holes 5 and 6 certainly launced Coxy into the lead and he never let up en route to shooting a solid 75 and take the Camel trophy back with 41 points.

The nearest competitor was Ben who carted a respectable 90 to rack up 37 points, but it wasn't nearly enough to keep Coxy from winning his second title in as many years.

Here's how the rest of the field broke down:

1) Dave Coxy - 41pts
2) Ben Middlemiss - 37pts
3) Steve Kelly - 35pts
t-4) Brett Pearce - 34pts
t-4) Matt Giardina - 34pts
6) Matt Muller - 29pts

Well-Dressed Lund Adds a New Accessory

by Matt Giardina

In his first-ever Camel Cup bid, Andy Lund managed to force a playoff with Coxy that ended poorly for him on the first hole. Some players go their whole Camel lives without so much as a sniff at the brass ring (or is it leather?), yours truly a prime example. So to be that close right out of the gate, Andy had to wonder if he could get back to the top of the leaderboard and win.

Those questions were answered at Trophy Lake on June 27 when not only did Andy live up to his "well-dressed" pseudonym, but he also shot lights out en route to smashing the Camel Cup Stableford point record with 45 points!

This is a score that might never be duplicated in the history of the competition as Andy shot 9 shots better than his handicap. But it's hard to argue with a 15-handicapper shooting an 81 and winning it all. He was very steady all day and pretty much lead from start to finish.

Well, maybe not from the start as the defending champion, Ben Middlemiss, came out blazing with 10 points on the first three holes. Many began to question how this guy was getting 20 shots when he was even par through three. But a sip of beer at the turn changed his fortunes for the worse and he fell out of contention quickly (despite a magnificient chip-in for net-bogey and subsequent goal-scoring celebration).

Other major contenders included the always consistent Parker who posted 39 points and the guy whose handicap is questioned on a daily basis, Tyler Smith, who tied Parker for second place.

Also a congratulations to the winners of the KP and LD competitions. If you said Coxy and Hill won these awards, you'd expect that Hill was the LD guy, but it was Coxy with the flexing of the muscles and Hill showing precision on the 17th par-3.

So Andy gets to hold on to the Camel till the end of August when the next event takes place in Portland. It is sure to be wide open as a Portland away-Camel typically means a lot of sluggish golfers on the Saturday.

I only took a few pics, sorry, here they are.

Internationals Pound Americans to Reclaim Resi's Cup

by Matt Giardina

In 2008, the International squad was a shell of its former self. Missing no less than three key players, they were no match for the Americans. Turnabout is fair play, it would seem as this year was the complete opposite. The Americans had two key players drop out in the week leading up to the event, hurting the overall depth of the squad and opening the door for the Internationals who kicked it down and rolled to a comfy win.

There was a bit of a change this year as the hackers went off first and the top groups went last. The result was that the Internationals nearly had the Cup in hand after just three groups completed play. The Americans were swept in the first two groups and lost 2-1 in group 3 to fall into a massive hole that they couldn't pull themselves out of with the top groups.

The Americans did manage to sweep the long drive competitions, but that's a bit like getting a participation ribbon after not placing in an event. It offered little consolation.

The post-match drinks were well-attended and we managed to not get kicked out of the Wooly Toad again (it's gonna happen one year, just wait). The party continued in several directions, with the bulk of the group ending up downtown at Kell's until the wee hours.

Thanks to the captains for organizing the event once again and congratulations to the Internationals on a job well done. And no we are not replacing the Portland Camel with a second Resi's, Steve! :)

Results:

Smith/Middlemiss def. Jones/Lightfoot 3-nil
Hogben/Richo def. Giardina/Lund 3-nil
Parker/Muller def. Kelly/Wood 2-1
John/Rocha def. Pearce/Foley 2.5-0.5
Soules/Marvin def. King/Robbings 2.5-0.5
Cox/Hill def. Hill/Darin 2.5-0.5

KP/Long Drive Winners:

KP #4 - Matt Muller
LD #9 - Matt Giardina
KP #12 - ???
LD #18 - Adam Marvin

2009 FBR Open Camel – Pissy and Pooey Balls

It was a great 4 days (3 for some) in the desert in late January, with as always a couple of defining moments that resulted in stories that will be told to children and grandchildren for years to come, maybe when they’re 18 anyway.

The weekend kicked off with Middlemiss, Muller, Lund & Kelly arriving on the Thursday. Despite inviting Tim “who” Jones along, he didn’t show at the airport. Once Kelly extricated himself from the Alaskan Airlines Boardroom (code name for free piss and food) at 6am he hobbled his way to the gate having rolled his ankle earlier in the week pillow fighting with fellow camel cup attendee, Andy Lund. The bright blue boot matched Steve’s attire of choice for the remainder of the weekend, which was pretty much anything with an Oklahoma Basketball logo on it, or was it the University of Kansas Jayhawks, I can’t remember due to the copious amount of booze consumed for the remainder of the trip.

After picking up the chariot, a lovely Hyundai minivan we headed for the best hotel in Scottsdale this time of year, the Fairmont. We seemingly went through $20 worth of one’s in tips in the first 30 minutes we were there for the various people that helped us with bags, cars, golf equipment and 2 shit hot Casita Suites located on the 5th hole of the TPC Stadium course. The rooms were nothing short of steller – massive and overlooking the course, enough to get everyone pumped for the big weekend.

The Thursday golf started off at TPC Champions, the course next to the TPC Stadium course where the lesser-knowns were playing for 1.2 mill while we tee’ed up in preparation for the following days cut throat camel event that the pro’s no doubt would have much rather have been playing in. Steve Kelly was the best of the day with an 89 and also took home the skins which came down to the last hole between himself and Middlemiss who was trying to stay under 12 lost balls for the round. Walking back to the hotel shuttle after the round, we had to walk past the main FBR Open gates and received some weird looks carrying our bags.

After prettying ourselves up we headed for Devils Martini, 2 for 1 drinks all night and half price food was simply awesome – as always copious amounts of booze was drunkt as we sat on the patio and watched various meatheads (yes I was jealous) park their Maseratti’s etc in the valet lot in front of us.

Friday morning greeted us all with the normal taste of gravel in the mouth caused by the events of the night before. We made a quick trip to the airport to pick up Chris “I love my white belt” Hill and Tyler “I love my hair products” Smith before heading to a pretty spectacular golf course, Eagle Mountain.

With an hour or so to spare at the course we decided to have lunch and discuss what tees to play. Lucky we had some time to spare, because as always, Chilly disagreed with everyone else on the tee selection and proceeded to plead his case due to it favoring him the most – unsurprisingly Hill managed to convince enough people that we should play the 6900 tees.

Lunch was spectacular sitting on the deck watching the camel cup whannabe’s stroll down the 18th. After a quick warm up, Muller, Lund and Middlemiss strolled to the first – Muller drove accurately while Middlemiss and Lund were somewhat wayward – Lund was well dressed though. McMiddlemiss scored no points, Lund not much more and Muller 3 points for his par, about 1/3 of his points for the entire 9.

The round continued as normal until the long par five 4th where Tyler decided to slapshot his ball 260 yards, landing it about 6 foot to the right of the almost putting Middlemiss. After some choice words and a bit of a song and dance, Middlemiss flopped out his old fella and pissed on Tylers ball in hopes he would be licking and cleaning it for the rest of the round – it was not to be and despite what they say about hair product rotting your brain, Tyler was smart enough to use numerous cups of water and a 1 shot unplayable to move his ball.

With about 3 holes to play the Camel seemed to be in possession of the highest handicapper, Middlemiss with Hill close behind. Middlemiss showed great (and surprising to himself) composure and managed to play well over the last 3 holes to card a 92 and play to his handicap for a total of 36 points. Hill was second with 34 and no one really cares about anyone else and I can’t remember anyway.

Friday night we decided to head back to Devils Martini and drink more booze after Foley arrived, jetting in from the airport just for the weekend and too scared to pick up a club in fear of his handicap waywarding into double digits as a result of his fall from grace. We drank a ton and I can’t remember much more about the night other than that we ended up at Barcelona and there was some Hall of Fame running back there that despite my best attempts would not give up his warm desert lifestyle surrounded by blonde hotties and move to Seattle to play for the National Champion Seattle Grizzlies. Tyler was probably the drunkest of us all, driving the porcelain bus for most of the night, while Foley was a close second with his effort of pissing on Lund’s bed while aiming for the bathroom that was 30 feet away.

Saturday we spent at the golf – seemed to be less packed (at least on the 4th/5th) than 2 years ago with stuff all people around the ropes. Hill was saving for child number 2’s edumacation and decided to jump the fence and not pay – luckily the moron got away with it which allowed us to meander on over to the 16th and sit in the grandstand in the baking sun while drinking many beers and letting our opinions be known to the golfers that tee’d off. Chilly with the Quiet sign controlling the crowd was a highlight.

Saturday afternoon we spent some time by the lavish pool and well dressed lund and oklahomo Kelly be-friended some dude from Chicago that bought us all 2-3 rounds of drinks. Saturday night we once again headed for Barcelona, the best bar that was the shortest distance away, but not before having the staple Arizona Camel Cup meal of 2 In’N’Out burders each.

Sunday we were all mostly hung over – not sure why, but whoever’s decision it was to move from Vodka Tonics of the previous 2 nights to RBV’s has some answering to do. Some time by the pool and some venturing onto the course by some made for a relaxing last morning before hightailing to the airport. The events of the weekend proved too much for Middlemiss’s bowel as he backed out a log on the plane so large that it touched his left ball sack – but he didn’t care – he had the camel!!!

Who Will Win the Portland Camel?

by Matt Giardina

UPDATE: Current Camel holder Aran Parker has dropped out and Camel #1's runner up Andy Lund is also not attending. 2006 champion Jon Foley has joined so there are now seven in competition.

It's been pretty quiet on the news/chatter front of late so why not throw out a question that we all think we have the answer to...

Of the seven competitors for the Camel Cup on Sept 27 in Portland, who do you think will win?

Ben Middlemiss - will his inevitable event-eve overdose get in the way of putting England on the Camel map?
Dave Cox - will the season of unemploymed/unlimited golf overcome his newly married status?
Jon Foley - a crafty short-game player, is his wrist fit enough for tee shots and long irons?
Matt Giardina - despite never having played Langdon, will his home town inspire a consistent round?
Matt Muller - is Wanarto going to carry his bag?
Steve Kelly - can he supplement Kansas basketball and Resi's cup wins with his second-ever Camel?
Tyler Smith - are the steroids causing mental breakdowns on the back 9?

If you want to weigh in on this, go to the forum I set up here and chat about it.

TPC Scottsdale Champions Separated at Birth?

by Matt Giardina

Back in February at the FBR Open, relative unknown J.B. Holmes snuck up on Phil Mickleson to steal the title right from under his nose.

In May, it was Holmes doppleganger, Aran Parker, who matched the feat by proving once again how dominant he can be in the desert.

The Camel win was the second of Parker's career, both coming in the Scottsdale heat. Back in February 2007, the foul-mouthed leprechaun nabbed his first title at Superstition Springs.

The win can certainly be chalked up to a very steady putter and a solid back 9 as his compeititors fell by the wayside down the stretch. In the end, it was a comfy 3-point win, and it revved up Parker so much that he decided to head-butt a curb on the side of the road in downtown Scottsdale later that evening.

Other solid performances came from Jon Foley, Tyler Smith and Brett Pearce who tied for second with 34 points apiece. Also noteworthy was the first net-albatross in Camel history recorded by Matt Giardina who's birdie on the handicap-1 11th hole launched him into contention, only to see him fall apart on holes 14-16.

Full Standings:
(note, many of you didn't post scores for me so if you shoot me an email with your pt total, I'll update).

1) Aran Parker (37)
t-2) Jon Foley (34)
t-2) Brett Pearce (34)
t-2) Tyler Smith (34)
5) Matt Giardina (32)
Dave Cox (unposted)
Matt Muller (unposted)
Chris Hill (unposted)
Adam Robbings (unposted)
Ben Middlemiss (unposted)

The next Camel event will be held September 27 in Portland. Course to be determined.

As Predicted, Coxy Bags First Camel of 08

by Matt Giardina

A month or so ago, some genius went on record predicting that Dave Cox was a shoo-in for the first camel of the year and boy was he right. Though it wasn't easy and not assured until the 19th hole.

It was a gorgeous day for a Camel with 14 competitors in the running for the trophy. Once 18 holes were complete, the top of the leaderboard showed Cox and newcomer Andy Lund tied with 37 points. Luckily the starter at Druid's Glen was understanding of the need to break the tie and allowed the two competitors to go back off #1 in a playoff.

Due to handicap, Lund was getting a stroke on Coxy, but the Aussie farmboy didn't let that get in his way as he calmly hit the green in two and rolled his birdie putt within inches to tap in for the winning par. Finally the "camel" is off Coxy's back and in his hands after some near misses the last couple of years.

Check out the photo gallery for more pictures.

Total standings from the event:

1) Cox 37 (won in playoff)
- Lund 37
3) Hill 34
- Hogben 34
5) Parker 33
6) Muller 31
- Pearce 31
8) Kelly 30
9) Foley 28
10) Giardina 27
11) Middlemiss 26
12) T.Jones 13

Robbings (unposted)
Lightfoot (unposted)

Camel Alternative Lifestyle

by Dave Cox

For those who can't make it to the Scottsdale Camel Cup, there is an alternative - in the ancient Australian art of genital origami.

Puppetry of the eh-hmm...

Or for those of you who prefer the other end:

Mr. Methane

Clip 1

Clip 2

PLEASE READ - Equitable Scoring Control for Handicaps

by the Camel Handicapping Comittee

Equitable Scoring Control (ESC) is a handicapping adjustment system that sets a maximum number a player can have on a hole.

So for handicapping purposes, please apply to your score after the round and post your ESC-adjusted score. Or if you're Scott Sibley, count all of your scores then take a bunch off at the end (similar effect).

The adjustment rules to adhere to are as follows:

Course Handicap	Maximum Number
9 or less	Double Bogey
10-19	7
20-29	8
30-39	9
40 and above	10